


Your Secret Admirer

by wildknees



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildknees/pseuds/wildknees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius takes on the role of a secret admirer. Sometimes it's easier to tell someone that you love him if you don't have to tell him yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a well known fact that Friday nights in the Gryffindor common room were not the ideal time nor place to study. After a week of classes, the students were ready to kick back, have fun, and generally make as much noise as possible.

Sirius, James, and Peter were doing their part in contributing to the noise of the room, and were playing a game that was a strange hybrid of Gobstones and Exploding Snap (explosions were more fun when they also involved puss and acid squirting at your face). Sirius felt that he was doing very well at the game, as in his next turn he had set it up so that James would almost certainly get a faceful of putrid liquid from a gobstone.

But James had lost focus on the game and was staring off across the room, a look of strange concern on his face. Sirius followed James' gaze and found him to be staring at Remus.

Remus, ever an oddity among students, was oblivious to the noise and commotion around him. He sat curled up in an armchair by the fire, completely engrossed in a disturbingly large book. A group of girls were chattering loudly beside him and now two fourth year boys were wrestling at the foot of his chair, but Remus was so absorbed in his book that he had an almost drugged look on his face.

James sighed.

"Poor Moony."

"And just why is he 'poor' Moony?" Peter asked, carefully removing a card from underneath a gobstone. Sirius grinned. James would definitely be at the bad end of gobstone very soon.

"He's got no confidence. Look at him, hiding away in his book. When's the last time you can remember him asking a girl on a date? _Never._ "

"Not everyone thinks that pestering a girl until she goes mad is the best way of finding a date," Sirius replied mockingly.

"But he's never gone after _any_ girls. He's too shy. We know he's ace, but none of the girls do because he's too shy to talk to them. And I bet they'd flock to him, he reads all that girly Romeo and Juliet stuff. Girls love that."

Sirius snorted. It was quite absurd that James try to dictate what it was that girls liked, as his endless failed attempts at wooing Lily proved that he clearly had no idea.

"I don't think he's shy. He's just..." Peter paused, considering Remus. "Well, maybe he's a little shy."

James nodded in agreement, but Sirius raised an eyebrow at this. Were they talking about the same Remus? Remus wasn't _shy_. Sure, He could be a bit quiet around people he wasn't comfortable with, and sometimes he tended to get a little too wrapped up in the literary world, but he certainly wasn't _shy._ Had they missed Remus' acerbic dry wit, or the daring pranks he pulled off with them? There was nothing shy about Remus there.

James had an intent look on his face that usually appeared whenever he was presenting an idea that he thought to be particularly genius. "He's got no confidence. He lets his furry little problem get the best of him. What he needs is a confidence boost."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Honestly Prongs, Moony isn't wallowing in self pity."

"What he needs is a confidence boost," James repeated. "So, here's the plan. We get him a secret admirer."

Peter looked curious at the idea, but Sirius was skeptical. The look of triumph on James' face was quite unnecessary for such a stupid idea. James usually came up with brilliant plans, but every now and then he thought of something ridiculous like this.

"I don't think a secret admirer is something you just pick up at the shop. Where do you suppose we find one of those?"

"Oh, we don't need to find a real secret admirer. All we need to do is write some letters and send them to him, and sign them 'your secret admirer'. It's all about confidence. There doesn't need to be a real girl, because when he reads the letters he'll realize that girls do like him, and then he'll be able to start chatting up some real girls on his own. It's genius!"

"It's a bit fishy. Isn't he going to know it's from us? He'll recognize our writing."

"That's why I picked up this." James pulled a quill out of the pocket of his robes. For all appearances it looked like a normal quill, though there was still a shop tag attached to it. Sirius and Peter leaned in to read the tag.

' _Perfect Penmanship Quill, ' Generic Girly'. Tired of being unable to read your own writing? Embarrassed at your notes looking like chicken scratch? Then the Perfect Penmanship Quill is for you! Simply use like a normal quill and find your writing instantly transformed into the perfect script you've always wanted. Generic Girly is the perfect feminine handwriting style for the girl who wants her notes to be pretty and practical. Also available in four other charming fonts._ '

"So you see? It's the perfect idea. Soon our dear Remus will be chatting up some nice girls and living happily ever after, and all that. He needs this."

Peter nodded in agreement, but Sirius was less believing. It was quite a ridiculous plan. Sirius didn't want Remus to be falsely lead on by some girl, even if the 'girl' was actually the three of them writing pathetic letters. But still, once James had made up his mind it was essentially impossible to persuade him otherwise. Grudgingly, Sirius settled into the idea.

"Well, Black. It's up to you."

James held out the Perfect Penmanship Quill to Sirius.

Sirius didn't take the quill. "What? Why do I have to write these stupid letters?"

A delighted sneer spread across James' face. "You're the best suited for the job. You're the girliest."

"I am _not._ "

"C'mon Pads, it's not that hard. Just write a soppy romantic letter to him and send it off. Some sort of romantic rubbish, 'I love you forever', and all that."

Sirius warily accepted the quill. He had never been very good at saying no to James.

James, having accomplished his goal, smiled triumphantly and returned to the game they had been playing. Sirius couldn't help but feel a smug surge of satisfaction as a gobstone sprayed putrid liquid into James' face.

But now it was Sirius who had lost focus on the game. He looked across the room at Remus, still absorbed in his book, and pondered.

***

_'My Most Dearest Darling Remus,_

_For many long nights I hath sitten at the window, gazing out upon the stars and thinking of thee. I've kept it a secret close to mine own heart, but I have loved you from the exact moment my eyes first fell upon the divine vision of thy perfect face. My most deepest heart's desire is only that one day your heavenly beauty shall instill the confidence upon me to speak to thee._

_Yours, most truly, now and always,_

_Your Secret Admirer'_

Sirius stared at the finished letter for a moment before he crumpled it up and tossed it in the rubbish bin. No way would Remus would like this soppy garbage. The way Sirius abused the English language would probably make Remus physically ill.

Why was writing this so difficult? It really shouldn't be. In fact, James couldn't have been more right when he said that Sirius was the one who was best suited for the job. Sirius thought that it should be quite easy to write a love letter to someone you've secretly been in love with for _months_.

Really, Sirius thought that he could write a book about all the things he loved about Remus. Sirius could write about the little things, like Remus' smile or the colour of his eyes. Or Sirius could write about how bloody brilliant Remus was with the little twists he added to the Marauders' pranks. Or Sirius could write about how Remus' sense of humour was so horribly charming, even if he did make terrible puns. Perhaps above all Sirius could write about how strong of a person Remus was; that, in the dawn after the full moon, Remus could lay there utterly exhausted, shaking in pain and bleeding, and still be able to smile at his friends. That meant more than anything to Sirius.

But he couldn't very well write all that in a letter from a _secret_ admirer.

He wanted to tell Remus the truth. Often Sirius had entertained the fantasy of confessing his love to Remus, and to have Remus admit similar feelings, and the both of them living happily ever after together and all that. But that chance of it actually playing out like that was very _very_ unlikely. No, what would probably happen would be that Remus would say that he was flattered but did not feel the same, though they would still be good friends. They would go on the same, though a certain awkwardness would hang over them from then on and a wedge would be driven into their friendship forever. After nearly ruining their friendship over that stupid prank in fifth year, Sirius couldn't bear the thought of losing Remus again.

As a Gryffindor, Sirius knew he should be known for his bravery, but even Gryffindor courage wasn't strong enough to help him do this. Sirius would rather spend his life lonely but at Remus' side than without Remus at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius had long ago given up listening to Binns' droning. He had so far spent History of Magic flicking bits of paper at James, charming his own socks to blinding orange, and drawing a very detailed picture of a Hippogriff. He had now moved on to his favourite activity, which involved finding a way to secretly stare at Remus without looking too obviously infatuated.

Sirius was entirely captivated. Sure, Remus was just sitting there blankly staring off into space, but he looked beautiful. The way the afternoon sunlight spilling in the window played off Remus' hair. The curve of Remus' wrist as he rested his chin in his hand. The steady but delicate way Remus' long fingers curled around his quill. There were a million things Sirius loved about Remus, at least.

This feeling was exactly what he wanted to tell Remus. Inspiration had struck, and Sirius reached into his bag to pull out the Perfect Penmanship Quill.

' _I'm sorry I don't have the courage to say this to you, but you're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out. I hope that one day I'll be able to tell you the truth,_ ' Sirius wrote truthfully. He read the letter over once, signed it as 'Your Secret Admirer', and tucked it into his bag to send off that night.

Sirius couldn't help but feel strangely satisfied, having finally been able to put his feelings into words.

***

Sirius felt painfully conspicuous when the post arrived the next morning at breakfast. James and Peter immediately turned their attention to Remus as soon as the school owl dropped the secret letter on the table. Sirius used every ounce of will-power he had to keep his face from going red as Remus opened the letter.

"What's that?" James asked, mock innocently. James was very talented at many things, though subtlety was not one of them.

Remus' face was blank as he read the letter. "A letter," he replied dryly.

"Who's it from?" James pushed, the same unsuited innocent look on his face as he attempted to lean over and read the letter. Sirius discreetly kicked James in the shin. _Prongs, you bloody idiot, don't be so obvious!_

"My mum."

Both James and Peter shot Sirius a glare that meant they were holding him personally responsible for Remus' stubborn behaviour.

"I thought your mum always sent you sweets with her letters."

Remus shrugged. "Sometimes." He causally tucked the letter into his robe pocket and turned back to breakfast.

James was clearly about to pry to further, but Remus interrupted him with, "Pass the toast, please," and, after another glare at Sirius, breakfast continued on.

***

Remus didn't say a word about the letter, which was exactly what Sirius had expected. James was still insistent about the plan, so a few days later a school owl once again delivered a mysterious letter to Remus at breakfast.

' _Dear Remus,_

_I hope you're not frightened by receiving these letters from someone with an anonymous identity. Even though I can't tell you who I am, I need to express these feelings somehow. Know that I love you dearly, and if I could tell you to your face I would. I think about you all the time, and you're perfect to me._

_Sincerely,_

_Your Secret Admirer._ '

"You're getting a lot of mail lately," James said matter-of-factly.

At the mention of the letter Peter also turned his attention towards Remus. Sirius suddenly became very interested in the bacon on his plate. Why did they have to be so obvious?

Remus just shrugged lightly. "No more than usual."

"That's the second letter this week!" James insisted. He leaned over to read the letter Remus was holding, but Remus pulled it out of James' view and tucked it away.

"Pass the toast, please."

"Who is it-"

"The toast, please," Remus repeated. James glared at Sirius.

***

Despite how disgustingly sappy the letters were, Sirius found that he was actually enjoying writing them. Remus hadn't let on at all that he had been receiving letters, though he did seem to saving them all after reading them. It felt good to know that, despite the melodrama of the letters, Remus seemed to have a slight fondness for whoever was writing them. And that person was, of course, Sirius.

This really was the only way Sirius could tell Remus how he felt. Even though Sirius could never admit his identity as the secret admirer, it was nice to know that Remus knew that there was someone who loved him.

But with adopting this secret alter-ego came a certain paranoia that he would be discovered. Half the girls in the school would probably die of happiness if they knew that cool, handsome Sirius Black enjoyed writing soppy love letters. The other half of the girls, along with most of the boys, would probably die of laughter if they knew that cool, handsome Sirius Black enjoyed writing soppy love letters.

But worst of all, Sirius was worried that somehow Remus would figure out just who had been writing the letters. Sometimes Remus would smile at him over the breakfast table and Sirius couldn't help but feel that the smile was deliberate. Not only that, but today Sirius had almost revealed himself by accident. In Transfigurations Sirius had reached to take out his textbook, and a letter he had written that morning fluttered out of his bag and landed under Remus' chair. Sirius had to quickly vanish the letter before Remus could see it, which worked effectively but was also tragic; the vanished letter had been one of Sirius' best.

He was now alone in the dormitory and attempting to recall exactly what he had written.

' _My dear Remus_

 _Every time I see you my love grows even more. Just seeing your smile makes my day better. Even though we can never be together, knowing that you're happy is enough for me. Maybe one day-_ '

Sirius gasped as the letter was ripped out of his hands.

"Let's see this letter," James snapped, inspecting the letter.

Sirius had to remind himself that, in this bizarre situation, being caught writing a love letter to Remus was perfectly acceptable. In fact, being that James had been so insistent on this stupid plan, writing the letter would even be encouraged.

James studied the letter for a while, brow furrowed.

"Well?"

"It is _exceptionally_ sappy," James finally commented, vaguely impressed. Sirius glared at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with him. He hasn't said a word about these letters!"

"Well, you know how he is. Moony wouldn't go bragging about something like this."

"But he's not even shaken by them! He's shy, he should at least be a bit flustered."

"He's not shy. But this is the kind of thing that Moony would keep quite about. And would you quit pointing out the letters at breakfast? He's going to catch on that something is up!" Sirius was actually surprised that Remus hadn't caught on already. But then again, maybe the idea of his friends writing him love letters was so ridiculous in the first place that the thought hadn't even crossed Remus' mind.

James stared at the letter for a few more moments before he handed it back.

"Fine. But if he doesn't say something soon..."

***

' _Dear Remus,_

_I feel like such a fool sometimes, seeing you and not being able to tell you how I feel. Sometimes it's an incredibly struggle not to abandon all reason and shout that I love you in the middle of the corridor!_

_Your Secret Admirer'_

_***  
_

"Where are _you_ off to?"

Remus was packing textbooks from his trunk into his school bag. He shot James a suspicious look.

"The library."

"You don't have a date?"

"No."

Peter watched the exchange curiously and Sirius fought the urge to hide his own face in his hands. He wondered if it would be too obvious if he were to cast a Silencing Spell on James, or perhaps strangle James with the bed curtains.

"Really? No special girls in your life? No girls have..." James paused deliberately, looking like he was concentrating deeply while searching for the right words. "Shown interest?"

Thankfully, Remus didn't seem to notice how ridiculous James was acting (perhaps just mistaking it for James' normal ridiculousness). Remus finished packing his school bag and shrugged it onto his shoulder.

"No girls, no. See you later," Remus waved lightly as he left the dormitory, closing the door behind himself.

There was a long silence as the boys stared at the shut door. Finally James sighed, sounding defeated.

"I think we need to stop this letter business," he said morosely.

Sirius was somewhat disturbed by the cold fear this statement caused.

"W-why?"

"He's oblivious as ever. These letters aren't doing any good. We should have known that Moony wouldn't get all giddy over some girl."

Peter nodded in agreement. "And what if he gets hung up on this imaginary girl? If he falls for her then this is really going to backfire. It would be even worse for his confidence to find out she isn't even real."

"Right. We should stop. Pads, just write one more letter, and say that it will be the last one. Write whatever sort of soppy garbage, say they can never be together and all that. You're good at that mushy stuff."

Sirius huffed.

***

' _To my love, Remus,_

_Words on paper can't express how I feel about you. I could write 'I love you' until there was no room left on the page, and it wouldn't be enough. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you, but for now, I can only express it through these letters._

_I love you._

_Your secret admirer._ '

Sirius looked over the letter again. There was definitely no mention of this being the last letter, like James had told him to write. And there wouldn't be any time soon.

Sirius had kept this secret for so long now, and it was so difficult to keep it to himself. It felt so good to finally be able to tell Remus, even if Remus didn't know who the letters were actually from. To be able to at least let Remus know that he was dearly loved helped to ease the strain a little bit. So Sirius decided to secretly continue the secret letters.

James and Peter didn't need to know about it. Let them think that Sirius had stopped writing. What business of theirs was it, anyway?


	3. Chapter 3

Thankfully, James had stopped taking interest in Remus' mail, and he didn't even notice when Remus received another secret letter. He didn't notice the next letter either. Or even the next. Sirius' plan was working brilliantly.

Sirius was completely unaware of the dopey smile on his own face as he watched Remus read his latest letter. Remus could finally read the letters in peace without James acting like an idiot.

Pleased, Sirius shot James a triumphant look, but the feeling quickly turned to fear.

Reaching for the butter, James was leaning dangerously close to Remus and the letter. Another inch and James would be able to see ' _My darling Remus_ ' in the Generic Girly font of the Perfect Penmanship Quill. Sirius had to act fast-

The potato bowl exploded violently.

Remus was somewhat shielded from the blast by the letter, and he idly wiped a bit of potato off his forehead. James, who had fallen victim to the full blast and was now coated in smashed potato, glared across the table at Sirius.

A potato covered eyebrow raised in challenge.

The pitcher of pumpkin juice beside Sirius exploded, soaking him with cold sticky liquid. At once they were duelling. Bacon flew through the air like darts, a basket of rolls was launched into the air and rolls rained down over their heads, fruits splattered as they hit the walls. Chaos raged around them. Other students joined the battle as well, and were either happily hurling pastries at one another or ducking under the tables for cover.

"STOP!" came Dumbledore's booming voice over the students' battle cries, and at once all the food flying through the air vanished.

"POTTER! BLACK! DETENTION!" How often had he heard those three words together?

***

Reluctantly, Sirius decided that continuing to write the letters was too dangerous. He had been too close to getting caught. Not only was there the original problem of keeping it secret from Remus, but now Sirius had to keep it secret from James and Peter as well. He couldn't very well start a school-wide food fight every time he wrote another letter (well he _could_ , but being made to scrub out the fourth floor toilets wasn't something he wanted to be doing all that often, or ever).

Finally the last mysterious stain had been removed from behind the sink, and Sirius was finished his detention. He stood up to leave, banged his head on the bottom of the sink, and had an epiphany.

He wouldn't have to stop writing the letters altogether - he just had make sure they were delivered while James wasn't around. Persuading James to miss breakfast would be attempting the impossible, but Sirius could arrange so that the letters were delivered at other times. Most of the school owls tended to be a bit lazy and only delivered letters with the morning post, but a few of the more rambunctious owls were willing to make immediate deliveries. So, after thoroughly removing the leftover grime from under his fingernails, Sirius made his way to the Owlrey.

He pulled out the Perfect Penmanship Quill (that he now carried with him at all times, just in case inspiration struck) and began to write.

' _My Remus,_

_I think about you all the time. I dream that we're together, and you're mine to hold. It may be too much to hope for but I can't help it. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out._

_Love always,_

_Your Secret Admirer_ '

"Take this to him _now,_ " Sirius told the energetic barn owl, who was hoping back and forth as Sirius tried to tie the letter to its leg. The owl nipped him on the finger in a recalcitrant manner before it swooped out of the Owlrey. Sirius swore after it as he wrapped his bleeding finger in his shirt-sleeve.

By the time Sirius got back to the dormitory, Remus was sporting a similarly bleeding finger and was reading the letter. James was nowhere in sight. Sirius grinned.

***

The new plan worked marvellously. Remus received a few deliveries at strange times (while doing his Prefects' duties, while in Arithmacy, while in the bath) but still he didn't say a word about the strange letters or interruptions. Sirius had just sent of a particularly sweet letter (that would be delivered to Remus in the library, most likely) and was now alone in the dormitory, feeling very pleased about his own poetic ability.

He was startled by a loud bang at the window, and looked to find an owl flapping just outside. Puzzled, Sirius walked over and opened the window for the owl, which promptly began beating Sirius around the head with its flapping wings.

Sirius ducked for cover and the owl finally settled down on the window ledge. It was then that Sirius recognized the owl as the same one he had just sent off to Remus, and it still had the letter he had written attached to its leg.

"You stupid thing," Sirius muttered, glaring at the owl. Couldn't it figure out where it was supposed to deliver the letter to? Yes, this was Remus' room, but the owl should have delivered it directly to Remus.

Grumbling, Sirius took the letter from the owl. He'd have to go back to the Owlry and send it again with an owl that performed its duties properly.

It was then that Sirius noticed that the letter was not written in the Generic Girly font of the Perfect Penmanship Quill. Utterly confused, he opened the letter.

' _To My Secret Admirer,_

_I'm sorry, but I just can't bear it anymore. I had written this letter and was anxiously awaiting your next letter so I could send it by return post. I've become obsessed with the desire for you to reveal yourself. Please meet me tonight at 11:00PM on the top of the Astronomy Tower. I know I already love you._

_With love,_

_Your Remus_ '

Sirius stared at the letter in horror.

No. _No._ This couldn't be happening. Peter had been right; Remus really had fallen for the girl who was supposed to be writing these letters. What was Sirius going to do! When this mysterious girl didn't reveal herself, Remus would surely be heartbroken. And Sirius couldn't reveal that it had been him who had been writing the letters. The apology and explanation would have to involve James, and then James would know that Sirius had been continuing writing letters, and Remus would figure it all out, and Sirius' secret would be revealed, and, and...

_No!_

When the dormitory door opened, Sirius nearly jumped in fright. Remus peeked into the room, and Sirius thought he could feel his own heart shattering.

"Here you are, Padfoot! I've been looking for you." Remus smiled as he made his way over to Sirius' bed. Seeing Remus' smile simultaneous made Sirius' heart soar and his stomach drop. Really, he felt like he was about to be sick.

"I have a favour to ask you. This is a bit embarrassing to talk about, but, well..." Remus laughed lightly, nervously. "For about a month now, I've been getting letters from a 'secret admirer'. And I sent a letter back asking this person to meet me at the Astronomy Tower tonight."

Sirius swallowed hard. It felt like a rock was in his throat.

"But... you know me. I'm... well, I'm shy. I need some moral support to come with me."

Sirius tried to keep the horrified look off his face. "You want _me_ to come with you tonight?"

"Well, you'd have to stay under the invisibility cloak, for sure. But I need you to be there. So will you come with me?"

 _That smile_. How could Sirius say no to that? Reluctantly, Sirius agreed. Besides, Remus really would need some moral support tonight. When this girl didn't show up he'd be heartbroken.

***

The afternoon turned to evening and Sirius felt increasingly ill. Guilt wasn't a feeling he was familiar with. The last time he had felt this miserable had been in fifth year after that stupid prank, when Sirius had though that he'd lost Remus as friend forever. Now he could hardly even look at his supper, and seeing Remus sitting across the table and looking so hopeful made Sirius feel even worse. He tried to work up the courage to tell Remus that this had all been a hoax, but he just couldn't. When evening came and Remus finally gathered Sirius from their dormitory to go to the Astronomy Tower, Sirius felt like looking for a hole he could crawl into to die.

They made their way to the Astronomy Tower in silence, Remus cheerfully walking on ahead and Sirius sulking behind. When they reached the top of the Tower, Remus assumed a position standing dashingly by the door, and Sirius hid under the cloak. He wished he could disappear for real.

11:00 came and went, and every minute that passed after it was agony. By now Remus had given up standing by the door and had come to sit with Sirius with the cloak wrapped around their shoulders. It was comfortable like this, and Sirius would be thinking about how nice it was to be watching the stars alone with Remus if he wasn't busy mentally kicking himself for being a coward, a liar, and a sorry excuse for a Gryffindor. 11:30 came, and Sirius added 'bad friend' to that list as well.

Finally Sirius coughed. "I don't think she's coming."

Remus shrugged. He didn't seem fazed that his secret admirer hadn't shown up.

"C'mon Moony, it's already half eleven, she's not very punctual. Would you really want a tardy secret admirer? Could you deal with that? I think we'd better get out of here before it's too late."

"Just a bit longer."

The horrible twist of jealousy added itself to the general misery that had been consuming Sirius. Remus _really_ wanted to meet the secret admirer. He had written that he was in love with whatever stupid girl he thought was writing the letters. Sirius would laugh if he didn't feel so awful; here he was, jealous of himself.

"What are you hoping for? To have her be your girlfriend?" Sirius asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"Not quite," Remus replied, amused.

"Then why do you want to meet her?"

"Oh, I think I know who it is already."

 _Oh no._ Remus really had gotten his hopes up that it had been a particular girl. The feelings of jealousy increased. Had Sirius' letters really been building up some girl that Remus fancied?

"W-who?" Sirius asked nervously. He almost didn't want to know.

"Someone... someone I really care for."

The tenderness in Remus' voice was heartbreaking. This was it. It was far too late to save Remus' feelings, but Sirius knew that he had to confess.

He couldn't look at Remus. Not now. Not when he was about to shatter Remus' hopes.

"... Remus, I-"

A hand covered Sirius' mouth, and his eyes darted up to find Remus smiling tenderly at him.

" _'I love you,'_ " Remus finished.

And then the hand moved away from his mouth, and Remus was leaning towards him. _Oh._

This couldn't be real. Remus' lips were warm and soft, and Sirius couldn't even think to close his eyes as he kissed back because, because-

_Oh!_

Remus pulled back, and that tender smile was still on his face. "Well?"

Sirius could only stare.

" _How did you know?_ " he finally managed, and it sounded far less cool and manly than he would have liked.

Remus laughed. "Padfoot, you daft dog. Didn't you realize it?" Remus pulled a piece of parchment out of his robes. As Remus unfolded it, Sirius saw that it was the very first letter he had written to Remus as a secret admirer.

" _That's_ how I knew," Remus said, pointing to the words ' _Dear Moony_ ' at the beginning of the letter.

Sirius stared at the words. Had he really written that? The letter had been sincere. Maybe he had gotten too caught up in the inspiration and not realized that he had addressed it to 'Moony'.

Remus was still grinning at the shocked look on Sirius' face. "When James started acting like a prat over the letter at breakfast, I figured something was up. I suppose it could have been written by any of you, but to be honest I had been hoping for some sort of romantic confession from you for a while. Your face was awfully red at the table."

"It was _not,_ " Sirius said indignantly. He didn't blush like some giddy girl. Though really, he was far too ecstatic to worry about that right now. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Remus' smile was so bloody charming. "Oh, you know me. I'm shy," he said playfully.

"You're _not_ shy! I know it."

"Well, why didn't you tell me? I think we were both scared of ruining things, and it took some time to work up the courage. It's quite a delicate subject between friends. But," Remus kissed him again, and Sirius couldn't help but smile into the kiss, "I think we get our happy ending, no?"

Where did he go right? By all means Sirius shouldn't be sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower with Remus at his side. He really shouldn't be holding Remus' hand. But Remus had known all along, and the whole thing had ended much better than Sirius had ever thought possible.

"You have horrible taste, you know. I thought maybe you were all cultured because of all those old Muggle books you read, but if you like my letters I'm going to have to reconsider if you're any judge of quality at all!"

"They were a bit... _saccharine._ I did like them, though. But I think I'd like them even more if they were signed 'Sirius Black'."

"Horrible taste," Sirius repeated, though he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"I suppose you're right, Padfoot. My taste is really _going to the dogs._ "

Sirius kissed him to shut him up.

-THE END-

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted July 9 - July 15 2010 on fanfiction.net.


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